This past week and weekend have been a slight strain for myself. I have been having to write this paper for one of my law classes on any topic of choice. Picking my topic wasn’t a hard choice, because I wanted something that had a ton of meaning for me and something that I could really dive into and put feeling behind. I picked Adoption Law… because I am adopted as well. I had to mostly focus on the law portions of this while adding in my own personal opinion. I honestly can’t help that my own personal opinion is so bias in this situation. Maybe picking a topic so close to home was a bad idea in this case. I spent half the paper crying. Why? I have no idea! Maybe just the overwhelming feeling hoping that other kids get the outcome that I had… or maybe I spent some of the time mourning a life that I might have had. It is a very strange feeling to be so conflicted in this. Adoption isn’t hard for me to talk about and it isn’t even hard for me to talk about what I do know about my birth parents. I often wonder just what traits I picked up from them. I even have been curious when I have met people in world if just maybe there was some relationship there to my biological family. I believe it is natural to question, but I have been asked if I want to find my birth family and the answer is always a large NO! I was given away for a reason… That reason is what keeps me from going to look. It just was a very sad and confusing weekend on top of having to write this rather large paper and create a power point. I just hope that I don’t break out into tears during my presentation in class. I have worked for years with support groups for adoptees and haven’t broken out in tears yet… so here’s to hoping!
My escape from these thoughts has always been SL. I think this is why I do spend a lot of alone time in SL. It is hard to feel like you belong when you have never felt that before. I think that is why most log in to SL. To feel something or do something that they can’t in RL. I am grateful to be able to log in and then write about things that I feel or stuff that I go through. It is probably a little better than walking right up to a complete stranger and spilling your guts than to have people walk up to you and wait to read what your going to put out there. Maybe that is why it has taken me so long to write something like this about myself. Anyway…. I am just grateful to have a distraction at this point. Cosmopolitan Sales Room started yesterday and so I went about with my shopping therapy, which turns out to be much cheaper in SL than if I participated in this in RL. Enjoy your new round of Cosmo and hope to see you out shopping! I apologize for my crazy rant… I really should post a warning somewhere when you open my blog that there may be more information than one cares to know! TOOTLES
So, as I have been looking into this SecondLife flirting thing… I decided to do a google search. I always google search things… you never know what you could find and I certainly found some interesting reads. These things were posted a long time ago… like 2009 and 2011. One was a more recent post at the end of 2012 but really nothing current on the topic of flirting that I could find. I found articles about personal experiences with meeting different people. Photos of these people and quotes from their profile and how they contradicted themselves when you actually talked to them. I came upon a males guide to flirting in SecondLife. That was rather interesting to see a males perspective on what they think women want to hear or what women find attractive. He was about 70% accurate on some things… but truly men are clueless sometimes! Also, I found a rather plentiful amount of Cheating and Divorce articles written which were all caused by SecondLife. I am not going to get into all of that, but it was a rather interesting read! One common thing in all of these articles was the statement made… Harmless Flirting!
In the first article I mentioned… the lady who was writing explained how she never meets these men more than once. The meeting is just by chance when dancing or out and about exploring, but that the common thread between them all was that they came to SL to learn and to explore how others are. She explains how a little harmless flirting is really no issue at all and welcomed.
In the male written article, I was a tad more shocked. This man goes into detail of how to insult women to get them to get caught up. That women love to be insulted on a certain level. The example he gave wasn’t an insult at all actually but in his eyes he was being rather rude. Makes me wonder how many poor souls took this mans advice. It would be like me writing a cook book and trying to sell it. What a joke! Apparently when you tease a women it shows that you feel great about yourself and have the self confidence to say you don’t care what she thinks about you. I wonder just how pitiful this person truly feels behind his computer screen to try to make others feel this way. Truthfully, if a guy started insulting me and teasing me I would probably find a “kick in the balls” animation and hit the block button. These little tricks may work for the women who come to SL with no self respect, but really what are you trying to get with this? Trying to show just how bad ass your avatar is? AHHH I crack myself up thinking about it!
On to the cheating and divorce. SecondLife advertises for this by the way. Perfect place to cheat is what some articles call it. Deception at it’s best! Not what I expected when I google searched flirting but hey it does happen. A few articles were pretty terrifying to think people would react the way they have, but again I am not going there…
The sum of all of these google search articles is, basically, no one has any idea of how another person will react. There is no guide to flirting. In RL there are articles about how to flirt and when to flirt. Crossing your legs and leaning to the side as you play with your hair. I always just viewed that as looking extremely desperate for someone to show you attention. In SL, we replace that body language with slutty clothes that barely cover your private parts and that is if you even care to cover. We give people pet names…. Some do this out of habit but I don’t generally walk around calling people babydoll, sugarpie, or lover. In the culture I was raised, calling people hun and sweetie were the normal and most do consider these pet names as well. If I see someone put in their profile “DO NOT CALL ME HUN” I make sure I stay away. It is kind of a southern thing! I found myself this week in a rather uncomfortable position with someone just like this. She asked me a question about something that I had on and as I was saying no problem hun for her thank you… I got a rather rude “do not call me hun” message from her. As I proceeded to check her profile out, because now I am really curious, I see she has this in bold text. Just a side note for those who care, never try to ask people why they are so offended be this word. It never ends well!