Nothing Left but…

You say you love me, you say you care...

Emptiness. That is all that is left when little white lies are told to make someone feel better. The question though is who does this make feel better? It certainly isn’t just the one who the lies are being told to. Everyone has told a white lie in their lifetime and probably in the last week if you really think about it. What bothers me is when those lies build and build until it becomes something that is way out of control. I seem to worry about the white lies more than I should. You know, when you tell someone oh yeah that looks great on you and you just say it because if you told them they looked like crap it would hurt their feelings so you just say something polite. Sounds bad huh? Yeah well this has happened to me a few times. No one decided to tell me the truth which would have been a heck of a lot better in the end. I mean does anyone really want to be lied to? What you may not realize is that your white lie actually does hurt someone…and when they build it ends up being i love you and i wont ever leave you and then BAM next thing you know it was all pointless and your left with nothing.

Nothing left but..

I have been thinking about the nothing portion of this as I have been going out to meet people. I have been given one empty promise or comment after another and I got to thinking does anyone actually mean what they say? For example, I was out again the other night and met a guy who told me I was beautiful and so sweet and blah blah.. didn’t know me at ALL! He then tells me a couple of days later that he met this women who was…. and then he proceeded to give the SAME example of what he thought of her that he did me. I was curious of the wording so I went back to look at chats. Sure enough! Not like I really was worried about this, but I do worry if he does give these lines to some lady who actually believes him. What does a person get out of bring so full of it… I mean really?!?! So, I think this is a good reason for me to hide in the shadows most of the time. It is hard being mostly an introvert and having to force yourself out there when you know things like this happen. Maybe a slight fear for myself. Oh you mean you didn’t know I was really an introvert? Yeah well I prefer to usually be alone and writing like this to me is just like writing a journal for myself. I don’t think too much on who reads it. Anyway, getting way away from my intent of this post. TOOTLES!

Credits:

Skin: Lara Hurley– Scarlett in dark

Head: TheMeshProject– classic deluxe w/ Scarlett applier

Body: Maitreya– Lara Mesh Body w/ Scarlett applier

Eyes: IKON– Sovereign eyes in Fjord

Hair: TRUTH- Gilda @ The Arcade

Tattoo: Reckless- Haze @ Uber

Dress: Entice- Diamond dress in red @ Designer Showcase

Shoes: AnaMarkova- Mya Heels in Onyx @ Designer Showcase

Furniture in first photo:

Couch: Trompe Loeil– Alyce Bench leather white

Rug: REDGRAVE– Jonas Rug

Flowers: keke– paeons and magnolias set pink

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Clinch Me

Clinch Me

Did you know that The World Goth Fair 2015 is now open? If not there are more dark things waiting there or you to try. Salt and Pepper is there with even more freaking awesome things which you have to see. I was going to spend some time giving some more tips for bloggers today, but I was distracted at the fair. Yeah… sorry! lol TOOTLES

Credits:

Skin: Lara Hurley– Scarlett in dark

Head: TheMeshProject– classic deluxe w/ Scarlett applier

Body: Maitreya– Lara Mesh Body w/ Scarlett applier

Eyes: IKON– Sovereign eyes in Fjord

Hair: Wasabi Pills- Lindsey in browns

Collar and Corset: Salt and Pepper- Isis Collar and Corsage @ The World Goth Fair 2015

Skirt:Salt and Pepper- Isis skirt @ The World Goth Fair 2015

Kissed by the Sun

WLRPANNIVERSARY2015

Happy Anniversary to We ❤ RP! This month We ❤ RP turns two and this means gifts for everyone! Amazing unique roleplay designs with gifts at a few of the designers spots. You will not be disappointed and I bought probably WAY too much. Will take me more than just May to get through all of the items. Happy shopping this month and don’t forget to stop by! TOOTLES

Credits:

Skin: Glam Affair– Stella Polar Fantasy Line @ We ❤ RP

Head- Lelutka– Stella mesh head

Body- Maitreya– Lara Mesh Body (Free Fantasy appliers for Glam Affair @ We ❤ RP

Hair: Tableau Vivant- Cersei in Light Browns @ We ❤ RP

Headpiece: Fawny- Sweet Rose Wreath in gold @ We ❤ RP

Necklace: Modish- Thalia necklace in sand @ We ❤ RP

Dress: Dead Dollz- Ariadne’s dress in white @ We ❤ RP

Bracers: The Forge- Plaid Bracers in gold @ We ❤ RP

Pose: Apple Spice– Against the wall pose

Lamp: noctis- swamp wanderers standing lamp @ We ❤ RP

Bench: noctis- swamp wanderers bench @ We ❤ RP

Well and bassin: 22769 ~ bauwerk- The little village well and water basin @ We ❤ RP

Sticks and Stones

4.3.15.2.

I have wanted to do Berry’s Monday Memes and make them something that is part of my blog. Unfortunately RL has stepped in and it seems I am always jammed with things to do on Tuesday and Wednesday that prevent me from doing them and then by the time I remember, another Meme was posted and so on. This week is certainly no different; however, this specific subject is something that is very important to me. You can sum this up by just saying cyber bully.

With technology being the most used thing by people now a days, it is hard to imagine that bullying wouldn’t dip its ugly paws into peoples computers, phones, and tablets. I watched a show on the lifetime channel (yes, they are mostly cheesy) about a girl who was different. She wasn’t like most girls in her school and a group of girls started to call her a witch. They not only started teasing her and pushing her around at school but they went as far as to gather up her personal information such as her phone number and email address and began to send her messages there as well. The show eventually came to the part where they told her if she hated herself so much she should do them a favor and kill herself. She did just that.

It blows my mind how people can think that there horrible ugly comments to others here doesn’t have an affect on the person that you say them to. I hear others say “Oh, this is just a game, not like it’s real or anything.” So because you think this game isn’t real that gives you a right to be cruel and hateful and drag other people down some depressed road that your on? NO, it certainly does not. Congratulations if you feel like nothing ever said to you or about you on the internet doesn’t sting just a little. Sometimes for people it stings a lot. There is really only so much someone can take before it does begin to wear on the person every time they open up their phones or computers.

My own personal story is the reason I choose to take some time to write about this. I know another meme is coming, but this issue is so important to myself that I just needed to get it out there. I won’t be shaming the people who have bullied me; however, they know exactly who they are. If they are reading this then I hope maybe it opens up their eyes and they do not do these things to others. You may be “anonymous” on your end, but I think sometimes the WHO part of what is said doesn’t really matter when it comes down to WHAT is said. So here is my Monday Meme which Strawberry covered on her post here… Please feel free to share your story as well and maybe your story can make a difference for someone else.

Meme instructions: Answer the following questions either on your own blog, in the comments of this post or on any social platform.

  1. Have you ever been subjected to mean comments online by strangers? If not, then skip to question #5. Who hasn’t? I think there are different levels of mean comments. There is the comment that your look is ugly. That may sting a little on the confidence side of things. There are also personal attacks from people who you have grown close to. Those people could be from your RL or friends you have made online like in SL.
  2. How did you respond to them? I think most people have different responses. My first response is always to take up for myself. I think this was learned growing up because I have been bullied most of my life. I am extremely fair skinned with freckles and I have red hair. Now that I am older, I see that I am unique and I like it. Growing up in elementary school when the boys would call me weird and carrot top daily and pull pranks on me caused me to fight back. I would find anything to say back to them just to make it stop and draw attention away. Looking back that is probably the reason I smart off still and don’t take responses very well. My SL experience was one that I will never forget and something completely shocking for me. Different from RL bullying and my first ever cyber bully encounter.
  3. How did they make you feel? Alone. Isolation is probably the worse feeling and you may not physically be alone, but if they can make you feel that way then they have won. They have achieved their goal in making you miserable. A lot of people come to SL because they are alone or something has caused them not to be able to achieve what they have wanted in RL. Bored would also be a good reason. I think the feelings really are subject to what exactly happened to you. Sometimes a feeling of disgust would be there… disgusted that people had to act this way so that they could be happy. Then I would eventually just feel sorry that these people were so miserable they had to try to make others feel that way. They say that they feel great and are always happy, but you see their true ugly colors come out eventually. The anonymous feeling of being happy is fake. Remember that! Your happy because no one knows the truth? You fake being friendly to peoples faces because that is the fake person you have built here when in truth you talk about them to your close friends like they are garbage. I think I will stop here because the feelings really only get worse. I have really been working a lot lately with trying to not let things get to me. So far, I have made a lot of improvements, but I do have quite a ways to go. It isn’t easy when you wear your feelings on your sleeve.
  4. Can you share some of the mean comments you’ve received and your thoughts on them? I think mean comments are a way of life on SL. People left their manners at the log in screen. The worse thing that has happened to me in SL would have to be fake IMs being made and shared. Things that I never said or did being shared from someone that they were supposedly said to. At this time, I didn’t log my IMs. I certainly didn’t want things stored on my computer so I just didn’t. I didn’t have proof that these IMs weren’t actually written by me because I didn’t save them. I think this was probably the worse case of bullying I have had. I had several people who I was so close to just drop me because of these IMs. IMs that I didn’t say or write. Looking back now, I see that it was misery that caused this. Someone who just couldn’t be happy unless someone was suffering. I was next on the list I guess. From that point on I have logged every single IM that I have gotten. They get cleared every 6 months. I get this fear like things will come back to haunt me after this. As for other comments, I try not to listen to them. I get told my photos suck and my blog is horrible and I have no style. I guess those things affect me to a point, but those are the things I am working on forgetting. After all, I don’t blog for others and I don’t log into SL for others.
  5. Have you ever ridiculed or negatively commented on someone else’s work, actions or personality with the intention to hurt them?  I remember a saying that I grew up with. I wanted to fight back, but I would always remember being told that I should never point out someone else’s stick in their eye when I have a beam in my own. Basically don’t judge others because you are just as bad if you really look at yourself. I also find myself judging peoples works and comparing my own and the fact that I don’t feel my work is good enough. Yeah yeah, I have heard the whole believe in yourself comments, but I honestly don’t think your human if you haven’t doubted yourself at least once on something. I wouldn’t say I look at others works in a negative light but just my own. I always see someones idea and think about how awesome that was or hate that I didn’t think of it earlier on my own. Kudos to people and their creativity.

I think the take away from all of this is basically be polite and nice to others. What is the point and spreading around negative hate all the time? I look at my own stories about what people have said or done to me and I try to never want to hurt others like it has been done to me. For those people who were rude and horrible in the past, you are certainly forgiven but never forgotten. You cause me to look at SL in a completely different way. The trust I once gave to people so easily and freely for so long here is gone. The one thing I do think you for is for giving me strength. The strength to look past the ugly side and continue to do what I love regardless of what you say or think. Sorry for the long rant, but I felt it just needed to be out there! TOOTLES

Credits:

Skin: Glam Affair– Katra

Body: Maitreya– Lara Mesh Body

Head: TheMeshProject– Classic Deluxe

Hair: Ayashi- Saiko hair @ Rock Attitude Fashion Fair 2

Tattoos: DATUM- Dusk to Down @ Rock Attitude Fashion Fair 2

Dress: The Doll House- Reble Dress @ Rock Attitude Fashion Fair 2

I Assume It Is Fall

11.3.14.5

 I feel like it is so appropriate at this moment to talk about expectations and assumptions. Everyone has them but not everyone voices them. When we add in social media of any sort, we finally have a place to put these down and say our piece on things. What I guess has been bothering me a lot lately is the constant assumptions by people because they have no idea of a situation. I honestly believe that there are three sides to every story and the facts become nothing but a screwed view of what they believe happened on their end. The assumption that everyone should be completely perfect. It is “ok” for others to make mistakes until it has to do with yourself and then everyone  should just be perfect. The guilty comments start flooding in like the “How could you” one which I have hear people say frequently. I am guilty of this one myself. It is only “ok” for others to make a mistake when you can easily walk away from a situation and have no guilt or shame yourself. The real kicker is when people chime in with their two cents. Every situation is different… every reason is different… how can we possibly give “advice” or comments on a situation that you can’t possibly understand unless you are present yourself? This is something I have struggled with, because its very natural to give an opinion. That is what it is right? Then… if that is true let’s turn the situation around and make the person you’re talking about be your best friend. Then it is a different situation right? You may have the same opinion, but because there are some extra things you now know or you didn’t know then the opinion will come out as some kind of support for the person you care for. The take from? Stop assuming everything and just ask someone or be direct and let us all stop talking about others behind their backs. If you have something to say then just say it! I am going to say that I would rather go shopping at some of these great places than worry about what your assumptions are of me. Shopping therapy at its best! TOOTLES

 Her Credits:

HairLamb.– Pandora ginger pack

Jacket w/ shirt– American Bazaar- West Coat Marine with undershirt hud @ Sad November

Jeans- [Cynful]– Skinny jeans in medium blue

ShoesREIGN.– Not Your Momma’s Knit Boots (group gift)

His Credits: 

Shirt- V-Spot Seattle Sweater in purple @ Sad November

Pants- V-Spot Casual Cords in brown @ Sad November

Hat- V-Spot– Worn Velvet Hat and Scarf in navy (NEW 99L)

Watch- [MANDALA] Billionaire – Simple Leather Black

Shoes- Horeenbeek– Heritage Boots Burgundy

Back to the Basics

10.27.14.1

 

Sorry… not much time today to sit here and spill out some of my thoughts. Hopefully I will have more time tomorrow for this and a weekly reflection from last week. Monday’s really do not allow for much time and especially with a two year old. I think the terrible two’s have hit this morning! I wanted to introduce a new sim for me… Just Another Tequilla Sunrise is a beautiful fall decorated sim with so much to offer photography wise. There are little spaces all over with buildings and places to cuddle up and chat or to just snap a few photos. I had the pleasure of doing a friends headshot here as well. Top quality all over the sim really. I didn’t have much time to snap some scenic pics, but those will be coming on my flickr very soon with a LM added for you all if you would like to wait and go then. I also provided one at the bottom. Everyone have a lovely week and remember… if you get some shopping time… The Halloween Fair is open for two weeks only. Not enough time to go through all these awesome stores. Please check it out. TOOTLES!

Credits:

Skin– Lara Hurley- Fae in natural dark

Eyes– IKON- Hope Eyes in Nymph

Hair TRUTH– Feronia

Dress– AURORA- Ruffle Shoulder dress in Olive Ombre @ The Halloween Fair

Jewelry- MANDALA- Buddha earrings in dark gold

Shoes– PrincessD- Glamour Heels in black and gold @ The Halloween Fair

Pose– Kirin Poses- Momo Pose pack  gift @ The Seasons Story

Sim**Just Another Tequilla Sunrise (rezzing available)

Some Dolls are Broken

10.18.14.8

The Kawaii vs. Creepy Gacha Event begins on the 25th and will run until November 22nd. This even will involve both the creepy side of things and the kawaii side of things. I can tell you from the photos that you will just want to show up not only for the shopping and games, but for the incredible sim design that has taken place. I want to go one time JUST for photos. It is that incredible. I am bringing you part of the creepy side and the kawaii side today so I hope you enjoy and I hope you are looking forward to this even just as much as I am! TOOTLES

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

CHAPTER 1 : The beginning of the confrontation

Very long ago, in a colored kingdom called KAWAII where reigned the peace, love and innocence, was born 2 twin sisters within the family royal.

The one with the wisdom and the ease, the other one more reserved and frail.

A few years spent and a black cloud darkens on colored kingdom causing the died and the destruction.

To protect this felicity against the evil, the kingdom had other choices only to realize a royal rite of Sepulchral Twins aiming at appaiser the gods !

The 2 sisters were locked into an arena and forced to fight up to the death

Forced and submitted to the pressure, the fight began.

Most reserved and most fragile both were left for dead woman and buried while her last breath escaped from its body.

The remaining twin had the duty to keep and to protect the kingdom while wearing her heavy burden !

Unfortunately, the dead twin came back in the form of avenging spirit cursing the colored kingdom and her inhabitants of her creepy world !!!

A war burst !!!

To you to choose your camp !!!

Who both will win ?!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This event is not only a shopping week, it is too a story, the first chapter begins now but attention, the continuation depends ONLY of you every creators and players, only your votes will determine which camp will take the advantage in the next chapter !!!

 10.18.14.7

Credits:

Skin– .EMBW.- Broken Doll Ann skin with shape and eyes@ Kawaii vs. Creepy Gacha Event

Hair– TRUTH- Lala

Frog– ::BAD::- Horny Toad pink rare @ Kawaii vs. Creepy Gacha Event

Boho Beautiful

10.17.14.4

I was introduced to a skin designer the other day that I wasn’t very familiar with. {AIMI} skins actually blew me away with how detailed the faces are. It may be a tad hard to tell in the photo, but when you zoom in you can see all the hand painted details that the designer put into the skin. This is certainly a skin designer to watch. I tp’d to the store after seeing this skin at the Boho Culture Fair III and you could tell from one side of the store to the other how the progression of each skin has gone plus all the appliers you could ever want! Not too much longer for the Boho Culture Fair III, so please hurry! TOOTLES

Credits:

Skin– {AIMI} Sky skin with and without cleavage @ Boho Culture Fair III

Eyes– IKON- Hope Eyes in Nymph

Hair– TRUTH- Lagertha in gingers

As the Clock Ticks

10.14.14.5

Has it ever been so quiet in a room where you can hear the clock ticking? It seems like it makes the time move even slower as you watch the hand tick tick tick all the way around. It can put you in a trance and make you block out things around you. SL happens to be that clock that you can turn on and focus on and block out things going on around you. You could even reverse that and say that no matter how horrid things may be going in SL, you can always turn it off and go back into RL and ignore it. This hasn’t been more true than this past week. You can show people the truth or give them the answers to whatever they seek, but ignorance gets in the way. I am guilty of this and I can admit it, but what about those who can’t. Those who do not know when to stop and think before crazy words come out of their mouths. Maybe promises are made that can’t be kept, or maybe people spread rumors based on nothing but some story they made up in their own heads. These are the things that SL is made of. How sad is that? The absolute best thing to do when people grow ignorant is to just turn off the computer and walk away. A valuable lesson learned this past week. All of these scenarios happened this week, which made for a very aggravating week here. Just reminds me where my big X on my screen is and makes me dive into other things with more gusto than I normally give. Take away energy from one thing and push it towards another. That will begin to happen a little more and I hope you are all ready for this since my time is a tad more free than usual. 🙂 TOOTLES!

10.14.14.3

Credits:

Skin– Lara Hurley- Scarlett in Midtone

Eyes– IKON- Hope Eyes in Nymph

Hair– Exile- Check Out Time @ Collabor88

Dress– -tres blah- – Darling dress in green @ Collabor88

Shoes– Essenz- Monaco heels (med slink feet) @ Vintage and Cool Fair

Pose– (marukin)- Motelier @ Collabor88 

House– Scarlet Creative- Cabin in the Forest @ Collabor88 

Clock– floorplan.- Railroad clock in nikel @ Collabor88 

Birthday Girl

10.11.14.7

Today is my birthday!!!! *Does a birthday dance* There have been some rather surprising turns in the last 24 hours… but all in all I am happy and one year older and one year wiser. I am excited to see where this next year leads me. I have spent the last year blogging and getting stronger in my skills. It is still a hit and miss kind of thing, but I am looking forward to another year of growth with my favorite hobby. One thing that I know stands true… I blog what I like and that will not change. Would like to say a special thank you to all of my friends and family who have sent their greetings and well wishes. love you all! ❤ TOOTLES

10.11.14.8

Credits:

Skin– 7 Deadly s{K}ins- Malena special version 1 @ Boho Culture Fair III

Eyes– IKON- Hope Eyes in Nymph

Hair–  [^.^Ayashi^.^]- Alma hair @ Boho Culture Fair III

Dress– [::JesyDream::]- Boho dress @ Boho Culture Fair III

Jewelry- Bliensen + MaiTai- Windchimes necklace common gatcha @ Boho Culture Fair III

Pose- {NanTra}- Laurel Canyon pose pack @ Boho Culture Fair III

Location: The Dirty Grind @ Jasmine’s Hollow