I have wanted to do Berry’s Monday Memes and make them something that is part of my blog. Unfortunately RL has stepped in and it seems I am always jammed with things to do on Tuesday and Wednesday that prevent me from doing them and then by the time I remember, another Meme was posted and so on. This week is certainly no different; however, this specific subject is something that is very important to me. You can sum this up by just saying cyber bully.
With technology being the most used thing by people now a days, it is hard to imagine that bullying wouldn’t dip its ugly paws into peoples computers, phones, and tablets. I watched a show on the lifetime channel (yes, they are mostly cheesy) about a girl who was different. She wasn’t like most girls in her school and a group of girls started to call her a witch. They not only started teasing her and pushing her around at school but they went as far as to gather up her personal information such as her phone number and email address and began to send her messages there as well. The show eventually came to the part where they told her if she hated herself so much she should do them a favor and kill herself. She did just that.
It blows my mind how people can think that there horrible ugly comments to others here doesn’t have an affect on the person that you say them to. I hear others say “Oh, this is just a game, not like it’s real or anything.” So because you think this game isn’t real that gives you a right to be cruel and hateful and drag other people down some depressed road that your on? NO, it certainly does not. Congratulations if you feel like nothing ever said to you or about you on the internet doesn’t sting just a little. Sometimes for people it stings a lot. There is really only so much someone can take before it does begin to wear on the person every time they open up their phones or computers.
My own personal story is the reason I choose to take some time to write about this. I know another meme is coming, but this issue is so important to myself that I just needed to get it out there. I won’t be shaming the people who have bullied me; however, they know exactly who they are. If they are reading this then I hope maybe it opens up their eyes and they do not do these things to others. You may be “anonymous” on your end, but I think sometimes the WHO part of what is said doesn’t really matter when it comes down to WHAT is said. So here is my Monday Meme which Strawberry covered on her post here… Please feel free to share your story as well and maybe your story can make a difference for someone else.
Meme instructions: Answer the following questions either on your own blog, in the comments of this post or on any social platform.
- Have you ever been subjected to mean comments online by strangers? If not, then skip to question #5. Who hasn’t? I think there are different levels of mean comments. There is the comment that your look is ugly. That may sting a little on the confidence side of things. There are also personal attacks from people who you have grown close to. Those people could be from your RL or friends you have made online like in SL.
- How did you respond to them? I think most people have different responses. My first response is always to take up for myself. I think this was learned growing up because I have been bullied most of my life. I am extremely fair skinned with freckles and I have red hair. Now that I am older, I see that I am unique and I like it. Growing up in elementary school when the boys would call me weird and carrot top daily and pull pranks on me caused me to fight back. I would find anything to say back to them just to make it stop and draw attention away. Looking back that is probably the reason I smart off still and don’t take responses very well. My SL experience was one that I will never forget and something completely shocking for me. Different from RL bullying and my first ever cyber bully encounter.
- How did they make you feel? Alone. Isolation is probably the worse feeling and you may not physically be alone, but if they can make you feel that way then they have won. They have achieved their goal in making you miserable. A lot of people come to SL because they are alone or something has caused them not to be able to achieve what they have wanted in RL. Bored would also be a good reason. I think the feelings really are subject to what exactly happened to you. Sometimes a feeling of disgust would be there… disgusted that people had to act this way so that they could be happy. Then I would eventually just feel sorry that these people were so miserable they had to try to make others feel that way. They say that they feel great and are always happy, but you see their true ugly colors come out eventually. The anonymous feeling of being happy is fake. Remember that! Your happy because no one knows the truth? You fake being friendly to peoples faces because that is the fake person you have built here when in truth you talk about them to your close friends like they are garbage. I think I will stop here because the feelings really only get worse. I have really been working a lot lately with trying to not let things get to me. So far, I have made a lot of improvements, but I do have quite a ways to go. It isn’t easy when you wear your feelings on your sleeve.
- Can you share some of the mean comments you’ve received and your thoughts on them? I think mean comments are a way of life on SL. People left their manners at the log in screen. The worse thing that has happened to me in SL would have to be fake IMs being made and shared. Things that I never said or did being shared from someone that they were supposedly said to. At this time, I didn’t log my IMs. I certainly didn’t want things stored on my computer so I just didn’t. I didn’t have proof that these IMs weren’t actually written by me because I didn’t save them. I think this was probably the worse case of bullying I have had. I had several people who I was so close to just drop me because of these IMs. IMs that I didn’t say or write. Looking back now, I see that it was misery that caused this. Someone who just couldn’t be happy unless someone was suffering. I was next on the list I guess. From that point on I have logged every single IM that I have gotten. They get cleared every 6 months. I get this fear like things will come back to haunt me after this. As for other comments, I try not to listen to them. I get told my photos suck and my blog is horrible and I have no style. I guess those things affect me to a point, but those are the things I am working on forgetting. After all, I don’t blog for others and I don’t log into SL for others.
- Have you ever ridiculed or negatively commented on someone else’s work, actions or personality with the intention to hurt them? I remember a saying that I grew up with. I wanted to fight back, but I would always remember being told that I should never point out someone else’s stick in their eye when I have a beam in my own. Basically don’t judge others because you are just as bad if you really look at yourself. I also find myself judging peoples works and comparing my own and the fact that I don’t feel my work is good enough. Yeah yeah, I have heard the whole believe in yourself comments, but I honestly don’t think your human if you haven’t doubted yourself at least once on something. I wouldn’t say I look at others works in a negative light but just my own. I always see someones idea and think about how awesome that was or hate that I didn’t think of it earlier on my own. Kudos to people and their creativity.
I think the take away from all of this is basically be polite and nice to others. What is the point and spreading around negative hate all the time? I look at my own stories about what people have said or done to me and I try to never want to hurt others like it has been done to me. For those people who were rude and horrible in the past, you are certainly forgiven but never forgotten. You cause me to look at SL in a completely different way. The trust I once gave to people so easily and freely for so long here is gone. The one thing I do think you for is for giving me strength. The strength to look past the ugly side and continue to do what I love regardless of what you say or think. Sorry for the long rant, but I felt it just needed to be out there! TOOTLES
Skin: Glam Affair– Katra
Body: Maitreya– Lara Mesh Body
Head: TheMeshProject– Classic Deluxe
Hair: Ayashi- Saiko hair @ Rock Attitude Fashion Fair 2
Tattoos: DATUM- Dusk to Down @ Rock Attitude Fashion Fair 2
Dress: The Doll House- Reble Dress @ Rock Attitude Fashion Fair 2