Last week, I gave everyone a glimpse into the male mind when it comes to flirting. Now this in no way represents every guy and I am sure some had a few choice words to say about it. This week I would like to only be fair and bring you the Female answers to the exact same questions. Hopefully you will learn a little something about what women REALLY think and want.
I am going to explain again how this is going to go…. I am going to not give out names of the women that I ask. I feel like it will only be fair to get accurate answers and the truth of how they feel. These women I have known for a little while and have been in SL long enough to see these questions from several angles. You will know them as Female A, Female B, and Female C. I will also take this opportunity to give my responses to these questions. If you would like to compare the females responses with the males you may take a look at the Flirting 103 blog post. Here we go…
What attracts you to someone that makes you want to flirt with them?
Female A: To start, their looks and then if I continue depends on personality
Female B: In SL it would definitely be looks
Female C: Someone who makes me laugh, who is warm and complimentary. Am a sucker for nice looking pixels and style, I have to find them attractive.
Tessa: I always read someones profile first. They could look amazing but if they do not put effort into telling me SOMETHING then I am not really interested. So I guess I will say effort… I look for effort!
How do you generally begin flirting with someone and how can you tell they are flirting with you?
Female A: I start off just talking to them and then slowly go from there..Mostly it is just suggestive Jokes.
Female B: Most of the time it is just a friendly smile or I emote a shy sweet response and then see where it goes
Female C: Compliments are usually a nice first step. Can be an icebreaker – giving and receiving.
Tessa: Well I have been told I am horrible at this. I let the guy make the first move and I just respond however I feel… usually something sarcastic and flirty
Do you have different levels of flirting ?
Female A: I think so Depending if it is just as a joke or someone that I am really interested in.
Female B: Yes but would take me an essay to explain them all
Female C: Oh yes – you can flirt with friends, lovers and even girlfriends!! Doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s going to lead to any big romance,,or your next lover. Of course, when it does step up to that level, then flirting becomes almost like a part of foreplay 🙂
Tessa: Maybe? I guess everyone does have a level they will push to if they are interested in someone
What do you hope to accomplish with flirting?
Female A: Sometimes I just want a little harmless flirting back. If it is someone special I would like it to be an opening to knowing how they feel about me
Female B: I want to make friends who are fun and don’t take things so seriously
Female C: As I said above, flirting can be different things to different people – can make you smile, make you blush,,,depending on the level of ‘flirt’
Tessa: I figure making a friend wouldn’t hurt… if something more comes from that then so be it!
Have you ever had flirting backfire?
Female A: Yes. I was doing some harmless flirting or rather what I thought was and I ended up hurting someone special cause he thought I really wanted the other guy.
Female B: Stalkers are made by harmless flirting!!! That is a terrible backfire
Female C: Not really – I think am pretty perceptive and can read when something isn’t being received well – um,,hopefully 🙂
Tessa: If being told I don’t know how to flirt is a backfire then I guess so 🙂
What makes your flirting stop dead in it’s tracks?
Female A: As soon as someone takes it to serious and I don’t or if they are partnered and want it to lead to something more.
Female B: Horrible humor that ends up turning the conversation somewhere I am not comfortable with
Female C: *uck Off – usually works!! I think you have to read the person, you will know instinctively if you’re well received.
Tessa: Do not boast to me about your sex life!!!!! Honestly I do not want to know what number on your list that I could be if things go in that direction. That is a winner right there ladies!
Would you flirt with someone that is partnered or taken?
Female A: I Have as a light flirt. Nothing serious. I do let them know that is all it is now though.
Female B: Not unless the relationship was open. I have found most men are out to cheat and will try if they are flirted with
Female C: Not intentionally, no – however, I wouldn’t ever hesitate in paying someone a compliment or tell them they looked fabulous or stylish,,,,it’s not intentionally flirting,,just paying attention.
Tessa: This is always a tricky question. I put this question in because I felt iffy about it myself. I do not like to step on toes and I do not feel like a little flirting will do that. On another note, I have had that flirting turn to something more and next thing I knew the women was yelling at me for breaking up her relationship. It is a fine line and I think that each person has to make that decision based on how they interact with that person.
As I ventured into the world of flirting, I wanted to explore and snap some shots of a new place I haven’t been before. I spent my day answering these questions and figuring out just what the sum of all of this means. I found a cozy spot at The Millhouse Beanery and started to reflect. It really is a nice place to look around. I think it is rather small but packed completely with lovely little things to see. It reminded me a lot of my old landing and made me reflect on some good and bad parts of my SL, which funny enough had a lot to do with flirting.
I think each person will draw from this little experiment what they feel is necessary for their SL. For me personally, I have seen that maybe the person I have been in SL for a long time was caused by some flirting backfires and has molded me into someone that I do not even recognize anymore. When did I stop enjoying just the harmless playful stuff in SL and become so serious about things? I am lucky and have found someone to open my eyes up on this whole subject. Encouragement sometimes can have the largest effect on a person. Encouragement to follow dreams or, in this case, find the ME I have always meant to be. Do not let others discourage you from what you feel is right for you. Maybe this will continue into another blog for a later date… but for now… TOOTLES!