I have given this topic quite a bit of thought. The topic I am referring to is of the heart. I sat back thinking about the people who guard themselves. I think every person that reads this blog will be able to think of at least one person who guards their heart from anyone. I honestly feel like there are different reasons for guarding and I wanted to cover some of those and why I think all of this can be good and bad.
First, you need to know what guarding your heart and yourself means. I think the simple answer is that people are tired of getting hurt. They are tired of letting things that don’t matter on an every day basis effect their life. For this reason people will do what they can to guard themselves from being hurt. No one likes to feel disappointment or hurt and especially from things that come from Second Life.
I have heard some things like… “I am in a virtual world and don’t care to let people know anything about myself.” Another comment I have heard is, “I have gotten hurt in the past by opening up, so I choose not to open up to anyone anymore”. These are two very valid statements when you talk about opening up to others in Second Life. I have personally protected myself in the past from constant lies. Lies can come from many things, but we mostly see lies coming from relationships in Second Life.
I think it is important to acknowledge the lies that we tell ourselves before we deal with the lies that we are told by others. A major lie that is told by yourself can be that you need someone else to add value to yourself. The truth is that no one else can add value to your life except you. By living down this lie that you tell yourself you can save yourself a ton of heart ache when or if a relationship ends. Another lie you tell yourself is that everyone is in a relationship so you need to be in one as well. The truth is that you need to do what is right for you and not what others are doing. You have to believe that you are worthy enough to wait for someone and not just settle for what is right now. Do not cheapen yourself. There are many other lies that can be said, but I believe these two are the absolute worse in SL.
Next you need to watch the lies that are told to you. This is where things can get tricky. Most automatically think of a situation where you were lied to in Second Life. I can think of two specific situations which I think most can relate to as well. One was when a family member lied about every aspect of their life to the point of not knowing what was true and what wasn’t. Why tell someone something that isn’t true? We should always focus on what the truth is and if you do not want to share something, then just don’t say anything. That is easier than telling a lie that could potentially hurt someone else. The second thing would be a lie from a partner in Second Life. This partner could be a boyfriend or a girlfriend that you are dating or someone that you are actually partnered to. Whatever type or relationship you have, when lies are told it is hard to gain the trust back. There are some who choose just to never go there and so they think they are safe… but are they?
I often wonder what you get by being distant from others. I tried this at one point and all I became was miserable because I shut people out of most of my life. Yes, I still had general conversations with people, but I never felt like I was better off that way. Maybe I wasn’t ok with shutting people out from my heart because I had been on both side of things. I felt like it is better to open up with a chance of getting hurt than to never know what it feels like to have people genuinely care about you. I am not saying not to guard your heart against the many people who try to enter it, but I think its important to notice who matters and who is worth the time to let in. How to find that out is really up to you! TOOTLES!
Skin: Pink Acid– Masuku for Lelutka mesh head
Head: Lelutka– Stella
Body: Maitreya– Lara Mesh Body
Hair: TRUTH– Ami
Jewelry: Empyrean Forge– Mohio bracelet
Dress: Dead Dollz- Ellaria dress in Salmon @ The Fantasy Collective