Flirting 102

So, as I have been looking into this SecondLife flirting thing… I decided to do a google search. I always google search things… you never know what you could find and I certainly found some interesting reads. These things were posted a long time ago… like 2009 and 2011. One was a more recent post at the end of 2012 but really nothing current on the topic of flirting that I could find. I found articles about personal experiences with meeting different people. Photos of these people and quotes from their profile and how they contradicted themselves when you actually talked to them. I came upon a males guide to flirting in SecondLife. That was rather interesting to see a males perspective on what they think women want to hear or what women find attractive. He was about 70% accurate on some things… but truly men are clueless sometimes! Also, I found a rather plentiful amount of Cheating and Divorce articles written which were all caused by SecondLife. I am not going to get into all of that, but it was a rather interesting read! One common thing in all of these articles was the statement made… Harmless Flirting!

[we're CLOSED] block letters available at the Cosmopolitan Sales Room
[we’re CLOSED] block letters available at the Cosmopolitan Sales Room– Letters can be rotated to spell out anything you like. Full alphabet and numbers available in the set.

In the first article I mentioned… the lady who was writing explained how she never meets these men more than once. The meeting is just by chance when dancing or out and about exploring, but that the common thread between them all was that they came to SL to learn and to explore how others are. She explains how a little harmless flirting is really no issue at all and welcomed.

In the male written article, I was a tad more shocked. This man goes into detail of how to insult women to get them to get caught up. That women love to be insulted on a certain level. The example he gave wasn’t an insult at all actually but in his eyes he was being rather rude. Makes me wonder how many poor souls took this mans advice. It would be like me writing a cook book and trying to sell it. What a joke! Apparently when you tease a women it shows that you feel great about yourself and have the self confidence to say you don’t care what she thinks about you. I wonder just how pitiful this person truly feels behind his computer screen to try to make others feel this way. Truthfully, if a guy started insulting me and teasing me I would probably find a “kick in the balls” animation and hit the block button. These little tricks may work for the women who come to SL with no self respect, but really what are you trying to get with this? Trying to show just how bad ass your avatar is? AHHH I crack myself up thinking about it!

On to the cheating and divorce. SecondLife advertises for this by the way. Perfect place to cheat is what some articles call it. Deception at it’s best! Not what I expected when I google searched flirting but hey it does happen. A few articles were pretty terrifying to think people would react the way they have, but again I am not going there…

The sum of all of these google search articles is, basically, no one has any idea of how another person will react. There is no guide to flirting. In RL there are articles about how to flirt and when to flirt. Crossing your legs and leaning to the side as you play with your hair. I always just viewed that as looking extremely desperate for someone to show you attention. In SL, we replace that body language with slutty clothes that barely cover your private parts and that is if you even care to cover. We give people pet names…. Some do this out of habit but I don’t generally walk around calling people babydoll, sugarpie, or lover. In the culture I was raised, calling people hun and sweetie were the normal and most do consider these pet names as well. If I see someone put in their profile “DO NOT CALL ME HUN” I make sure I stay away. It is kind of a southern thing! I found myself this week in a rather uncomfortable position with someone just like this. She asked me a question about something that I had on and as I was saying no problem hun for her thank you… I got a rather rude “do not call me hun” message from her. As I proceeded to check her profile out, because now I am really curious, I see she has this in bold text. Just a side note for those who care, never try to ask people why they are so offended be this word. It never ends well!


5 thoughts on “Flirting 102

  1. This “insulting women” approach you found was probably lifted from Neil Strauss’s “The Game”, where he suggests “negging the target”. There is a whole community of PUAs (“Pick Up Artists”) that follow this (stunningly superficial and condescending) advice:

    “The PUA uses psychology to get the attraction of the “target” (the pretty girl in the set). First when he opens the set, he addresses the ugly girl(s). He largely ignores the pretty one, and when she invariably becomes jealous (jealousy is the biggest turn on for girls), he gives her a minor snub/neg “Is she always like this?” at which point she will be totally into him and he can turn his attention to her, whereas if he had addressed her at the beginning he would be blown out of the set for being “just another guy””

    I’ve not read the book, but from what I’ve gathered, the advice contained is ridiculous and seriously counter-productive to initiating contact with any woman with half a brain cell.

    As an aside, I’d nearly 100% certain Second Life or Linden Lab has ever advertised “Cheating or Divorce” as a benefit of their platform… but maybe you meant that press coverage related the two?

    • Hello Becky and thank you for your input! I must have missed this by Neil, although I am sure it would have just strengthened my advice to never look at what guys think is right to do because its usually false information. It turns my stomach just reading what you wrote. Yes I meant that the coverage and perception of Second Life is that people can come here to “cheat”. It covered most of the first page and all of the second and third pages of google when I searched the subject. I really wish Linden Labs would do some kind of advertisement that would show more of a wide range of things to do in SL besides just falling in love. The advertisements I have seen have all centered around a relationship in some way. Obviously I haven’t seen them all, but from my own view point that seems to be just about it.

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