AHHHH The art of flirting in SecondLife can be a bit of a challenge. I bring up this topic because of several reasons. One, I don’t believe I actually know how to flirt. Two, I feel like people have a different definition on what flirting is. This topic seems to come up a lot. And three, when is it appropriate to be a little flirtatious as opposed to coming on hard. What are the signs that you look for when you think someone may be flirting with you and just how are you suppose to respond to that? More than likely, I won’t be covering all of these in one post because I feel like it might take me a long time… so this is going to be a tad of an experiment for me. I do love blogging on fashion, but sometimes people have other interest and this is something I have been thinking about so here we go…
How do you flirt? I always believed that a really nice compliment to someone could be taken as flirting. Is that really the case though? Maybe it is the context in which the compliment is given? For example, if I were to tell a friend they look really nice today… is that just being polite or would it be a flirt if I added a smiley face to it or a wink? Some say they can tell the flirting by the smiles added to the context, but really… I do that ALL the time. Mainly to show that I am happy or that I am in a good mood. It is so hard to tell how someone feels over a computer. Voicing and all that does help you hear inflections in someones voice, but not everyone is going to jump on voice or skype to chat. It is certainly something I don’t do with people because I feel that makes things personal. More personal than I want to be with someone who I am just meeting. It always baffles me when I just don’t get it. I have my “blonde” moments a lot and sometimes I just don’t notice when someone is flirting. Maybe this is why I have been told I can’t flirt. It is really hard for me to distinguish between what is a flirt and what is just being nice to someone. Because of this, I have decided to do a little experiment in SL. I am going to start going out and trying different approaches to flirting. Yes anyone who sees my blog posts will know what I am doing but really what is the harm with flirting? It may lead to something more yes… but that is total speculation and not the outcome in most cases. Sometimes people just want to feel good about themselves. Ever go out just wanting a little bit of a pick me up mixed with some flirting? If you say you haven’t ever felt that way then you are LYING!
How do you begin to flirt with someone? In RL most of us start with body language. That part is completely taken away in SL. Some could argue a really good AO might make a difference and your avatar is flirting based on how your AO makes you move, but really that isn’t true. Your AO moves that way regardless if you are flirting or not. We are only left with our words. Most say the flirting starts when you IM a person. Honestly, I believe it begins when you read someones profile. How many usually message someone based off of just seeing them and not checking their profile? They may have something funny that draws you in or something you both agree on or you could possibly have a few groups in common that might cause you to message a person. I can say that what will first attract me is the looks. If you put time and effort into your avatar then it shows you can put time and effort into other things. No not talking about a relationship, but it does show that you do care more than just to log in and try to get some pixel sex. Have been told that makes me an avatar snob because I believe people should try to look good. So be it! All hail Snob Tessa!!! lol. Truthfully, I am not rude to people, but I would flirt with someone who looks good. Just a personal opinion. So, if I see a nice looking avatar and for me that could be male or female, then I will look into someones profile. If this person doesn’t put time into a profile then I think that this avatar is either an alt so they can run around or just doesn’t care. I had one guy I met tell me I was paranoid by saying this, which he is entitled to his opinion… but I just go off of my personal experience and that is what it has been. My rez date does not reflect my real age in SL which most people do not know about me, but I am definitely not new to this whole game people try to play. But to recap, It goes… good looking avi, read profile, and then if I get up enough courage I will message… or I will sit there hoping that this person sends me a message also. Yes, I am a tad shy when it comes to these things. It is always a mystery to me if guys actually like to be contacted first or they like to be the pursuer. Regardless… my reaction in IM is based on those two things first.
I do mention looking good in this blog and of course I have to add a little bit of fashion to it. My entire outfit can be found at the April round of Designer Showcase. This is a great example of taking time to look good for others to enjoy. My dress is a little flirtatious number called DiDi from FINESMITH. The dress opens up to reveal a womens lovely back and the necklace that comes with the dress just draws attention to it. I have an odd obsession with peoples backs. Long story there.. Also, my boots are called Parrow Thigh Strapped boots and my purse is the Sasha Handbag. Both of these items are created by the LivGlam Boutique. The round is almost up so not too much longer to enjoy these amazing sales!
Sorry for such a long first post… I will stop here for now. I have a lot of things going through my head and more to come as I begin to venture out into SL more and meet others. Stay tuned for experiences both funny and probably a little sad because it seems I do often attract the sad. TOOTLES